Rei-kun
by Durbe the Barian
Summary: That name...he had hoped that the past would leave him be. But that name...that name shall always remind him of what he lost. - A bad day in the life of Tooru Amuro.


**Detective Conan**

**Rei-kun...**

**Angst**

**Bourbon**

**That name...he had hoped that the past would leave him be. But that name...that name shall always remind him of what he lost. - A bad day in the life of Tooru Amuro.**

**(Don't own Case Closed.)**

* * *

Rei-kun...

* * *

Flames were licking at his face, smoke smothering his tiny form. His coughs were weak at best as he desperately pleaded for help.

"O-Okaasan," he whimpered. "T-Tousan."

He suddenly let out a terrible coughing fit as he tried to force himself to his feet. "H-Help," he whimpered. "I-I don't want to...," he suddenly fell to the floor again, his breathing growing weaker by the second; "I don't...want to die yet."

The smoke was growing heavier and heavier on his weak back and lungs. His eyes were closing, despite his firm desire that they stayed open. "Okaasan...Tousan..."

Then his eyes fluttered shut, allowing the heat around him to take hold.

A brief silence. No cracking wood, no snapping flames.

Just silence.

"Rei-kun..."

"Huh?"

_A car explodes before his very eyes, and a scream reaches his ears._

_ "Elena-san!"_

* * *

Tooru opened his eyes with a start, his breath catching in his lungs as he looked to his ceiling. His body was covered in a veil of sweat, dampening the tips of his goldenrod blond hair. His arms felt like rubber as he pushed himself out of his bed, while his head felt as if it was stuffed with cotton balls.

Not to mention his mouth felt like it sandpaper.

He looked through his window, curious about the time.

The sun was just barely beginning to rise. It was still relatively early.

"It was only a dream," he thought to himself, forcing himself to get out of bed, his feet touching the cold floorboards beneath him.

His tanned fingers raced through his hair as he made his way into his bathroom, all the while struggling to remove those images from his mind.

Those terrible, horrifying images.

He turned on the tap in his bathroom and proceeded to splash the icy water against his face.

Taking as many deep breaths as he was allowed, he looked himself in the mirror.

"It was only a dream. It was only a dream."

That phrase was ringing in his heart as he desperately tried to calm himself.

Unfortunately, there was a lie in that phrase, and he was able to see it quite clearly. He couldn't hide the truth from himself.

That wasn't 'only a dream.'

It was a memory.

A memory of his blasted past that he hoped he'd buried years ago.

A sigh escaped him as he looked at his reflection.

That smile on that dark-skinned face.

Those sparkling dark eyes.

...That mask.

_Smash!_

That child's face was still haunting his dreams.

It was still haunting his every waking moment.

* * *

Tooru kept his hand in his pocket that day as he knocked on the door to Kogoro's office. Moments later, the door opened up, revealing Conan's little self. "Hello-," he began, freezing up instantly at the sight of Tooru's face.

"Good morning, Conan-kun," Tooru said, bending down slightly so he could get a better look at the bespectacled little boy. "Is Mouri-sensei available?"

"Uh, yeah," Conan choked out, giving him a quick nod.

Quicker than he probably should have.

"Conan-kun, who's at the door? A client?"

That was definitely Ran.

"Um," went Conan, his eyes locked on Tooru's face. "I-It's Amuro-niichan!"

"It's about time he showed up," Tooru heard Kogoro say.

"Sorry, Mouri-sensei," Tooru said, entering the room the rest of the way. (As his head was the only thing in the room, thanks to Conan keeping the door only half open.) "I had a few problems at my apartment today, so I had to take care of them before I came over."

"Overslept?" Kogoro asked, his head resting on the heel of his hand.

"Like you've never done that, Old Man," Conan thought, an exasperated chuckle escaping him.

Tooru chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "You might say that," he said.

Conan's eyes narrowed in curiosity.

"Maybe you should get a new alarm clock," Ran suggested. "That might help."

"Maybe," Tooru said with a smile. "I'll give it a shot, Ran-san."

"Amuro-niichan," Conan began, making his way over to Ran's side.

"What is it, Conan-kun?" Tooru asked curiously.

"Is something wrong with your hand, Amuro-niichan?" Conan asked, pointing to Tooru's pocketed hand.

His right hand, to be more specific.

"N-No," Tooru said. "What makes you ask me that?"

"You're right handed," Conan pointed out. "But when you rubbed your head, you used your left hand."

Ran, curious about what Conan had just said, let her head loll back and thought about the moment in question. "Hey, he's right," she said.

Even Kogoro piped up after that. "Did something happen at your apartment that we don't know about?" he asked.

Silence.

Well, the jig was officially up.

Sighing, yet still maintaining that big smile, Tooru pulled his hand out of his pocket.

A bandage was wrapped around his hand, the white slowly turning soft pink.

All eyes widened and mouths were left agape.

"What happened there?" Kogoro asked, jumping out of his chair worriedly.

"Does it hurt?" Ran asked, positioning her hands around his injured one.

"A little bit," Tooru admitted, that smile refusing to fade. "I broke a plate during breakfast and later slipped while I was trying to clean it up."

"That's pretty clumsy," Ran scolded.

Tooru froze up.

_"That was pretty clumsy, Rei-kun. You shouldn't go and try pulling little stunts like that."_

Quickly, he thrust his hand away from Ran, who's palms were slowly closing in to tend to his injury.

Raising an eyebrow, Conan tilted his head to the side, curiosity and innocence blending beautifully on his face.

"A-Amuro-san," Ran stuttered.

"It's okay," Tooru said. "I handled first aid and it wasn't even bleeding that badly, so I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Ran asked. "We wouldn't want you to get hurt."

"I'm sure," Tooru said, rubbing the back of his head with his right hand.

He was lying. It hurt terribly. Smashing his mirror like that was definitely not a good idea.

And naturally, the only to see through his lie, apart from himself, was Conan, who's eyes were locked on that smile.

The smile that was growing more and more false.

* * *

(Later that day, at a crime scene.)

They were all standing in front of a small apartment building, one of the few doors opened wide. The crime scene was one of the apartments, as proven by the fair amount of yellow 'Do Not Enter' tape that was blocking it off.

That, as well as the slightly obese inspector standing before them, a scowl on his face.

"I can understand Ran-kun and Conan-kun," Inspector Megure huffed. "But why did you have to bring the blondy? This is a crime scene, not a sightseeing trip."

Tooru let out an awkward chuckle.

Conan simply gave Tooru a sidelong glance.

"He asked to come," Kogoro said. "And he paid his tuition, so there was nothing else I could do."

"Tuition?" Inspector Megure asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Yeah, of course. He's my disciple," Kogoro said.

Conan wanted to point out the flaws in his logic so badly.

Inspector Megure let out a terrible huff. "Fine then," he said, turning back towards the scene of the crime. "Anyway, let's get going. We've got a body over here. We could use your help figuring out what happened."

"Isn't that why you called him?" Conan thought nonchalantly.

"So who's the deceased?" Kogoro asked, starting up the stairs to the crime scene.

Such a simple question.

To answer, Megure pulled his notepad out of his pocket and opened it up.

"The victim's name is Mr. Rei Tsuki," he reported.

Instantly, Tooru froze up.

'Rei?'

"_Bye bye...Rei-kun._"

Conan then looked up to the dark-skinned detective.

It was strange. The young detective was completely tense, his eyes wide with surprise. The smile was gone, allowing his mouth to hang agape. Beads of sweat were beginning to form on his forehead.

What exactly did the name 'Rei' mean to Tooru?

"Cause of death was asphyxiation," Inspector Megure continued, not even noticing Tooru's frozen form. "But according to the landlord, Mr. Tsuki didn't have any enemies." He closed up the notepad. "Heck, he didn't even invite anybody over the entire time he lived here. No friends. No family. No enemies."

Flame erupted in Tooru's mind, images of broken people flew past his eyes.

The horrors of a child. The terrors of one who didn't have blood on his hands.

He suddenly lurched forward, his good hand clapping up against his mouth instinctively.

"Amuro-san, is something wrong?" Ran asked worriedly.

Tooru hastily blinked himself out of his afternoon terror.

"Amuro-niichan, you're sweating," Conan piped up. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I need to get out of here," Tooru thought to himself.

Forcing himself to stand up, he let out a chuckle and held his hands before his face. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm suddenly not feeling very well. Please excuse me while I get some air."

Nobody could rebuke his claim. He looked terrible, even more so as he left the crime scene.

"I wonder what happened," Ran thought aloud to herself. "He was just fine until a few seconds ago."

"Maybe he's finally cracking under the pressure of being a detective," Kogoro suggested.

Conan didn't say a word. Instead, he narrowed his eyes.

That was probably the worst excuse Tooru ever made on the fly.

* * *

Tooru fought off the sense of nausea as he doubled over in an alleyway, beads of sweat pouring down his brow.

_"Rei..._"

He gulped down as much air as he was allowed as the images finally began to leave him.

"_**Zero? Pretty lame nickname.**__"_

Shaking his head to clear his mind, he wiped away the perspiration that settled on his dark skin. "I thought that I'd gotten over this," he thought to himself. "So why? Why is it still haunting me?" He looked down at his injured hand. Then his eyes softened as the memories came back to him.

* * *

_"__You were fortunate to save this boy. His parents...didn't make it.__"_

_ "How are you feeling, little boy?"_

_ His dark eyes fluttered open, allowing himself to discover that he was in a hospital room. He was wearing the typical hospital attire, an oxygen mask strapped to his face to allow better breathing. "Where...where am I?" he asked himself, his high pitched voice coming out in a squeak._

_ Suddenly, a pale, slender hand touched his smaller one._

_ His tired eyes looked to the side, hoping to see his mother._

_ No such luck. _

_ It wasn't her. It was a tall woman with long, dark hair and glasses. _

_ "It's okay, little one," she said. "You're in the hospital."_

_ "Where's...my mommy and daddy?"_

_ The woman's hand twitched, something he was able to notice right away._

_ Despite this, she evaded the question altogether. "What's your name, little one?" she asked instead._

_ His answer was slow, but there._

_ "Rei...A-Amuro..."_

_ "That's a nice name," the woman said. "I am...Elena. Elena Miyano. And I'm going to be taking care of you from now on, Rei-kun."_

* * *

"Elena-san," Tooru choked out, reaching for the image that laid before him. But then, just like that, she faded away, replaced by the sounds of a car horn blaring in his ears. He jerked his head back towards the crime scene, the straight road being replaced in an intersection, and a car driving out of control.

Though he could see little, he was still able to make out the long brown hair of the driver.

"E-Elena-san," Tooru breathed, his shoulders sagging as he raised his hands to his face.

He could feel the cold winds from that day race past his face as the memories continued.

* * *

_**"Bye bye...Rei-kun."**_

_ 16 year old Tooru froze with terror. _

_ The car that had been carrying Elena and her husband had crashed at an intersection. He, who was standing on the corner when the car ran into a building, was the first to notice the situation. _

_ "E-Elena-san," he choked. _

_ That's when he noticed that the fuel tank was leaking._

_ If it caught on fire..._

_ Instinct took over, and he raced out into the street, his hand outstretched. "Elena-san!"_

_ "Bourbon! Don't!"_

_ A woman's hand grabbed hold of his arm, forcing him back onto the sidewalk. "Don't you dare go down there, Bourbon! You're too important to the Organization to lose in such a futile struggle."_

_ "Let me go, Vermouth!" Tooru growled. "Just let me go! I have to go help her! She could still be alive!"_

_ Then the car exploded, freezing Tooru in his tracks._

* * *

He fell against the brick wall of the building, the explosion from his memories feeling so real against his face. Tears threatened to attack him, but he held them back.

Just as he did before.

"_So they call you Zero, huh?_"

He froze. That voice...the owner was...how could...?

Slowly, he forced his head to turn.

The alleyway then shifted and twisted, becoming like the hallways at the police academy.

Then a young man, ten years younger than Tooru himself, started down towards him.

Tooru's blood froze over.

It was Wataru, the friend of his that should have been dead.

"W-Wataru," he breathed, reaching out to touch his shoulder to see if he was real.

It didn't work. His hand went right through him.

In addition to that, it was as if Wataru didn't notice him. He simply continued down the hallways, a grin on his face, a toothpick in his mouth.

* * *

_ "Hey. I asked you a question," Wataru continued, folding his arms across his chest._

_ 19 year old Tooru turned around curiously, innocence all over his face again. _

_ Wataru Date. A fellow student at the police academy._

_ "I-I'm sorry, what?" Tooru asked, having not heard the question that had been asked of him._

_ Date sighed. "I asked if everybody called you Zero," he said._

_ Tooru gave his usual smile. "Yes, they do," he said. "Ever since I was little. Like it?"_

_ "No," Date said bluntly. "It's stupid, but I guess it fits you."_

_ "I'm sorry," Tooru began, the smile on his face growing more and more painful to wear. "You hate it, but you think it fits me?"_

_ "Yeah," Date said. "After all, even when you're around, it's like you're not. You're see-through. It's like there's nothing there when you walk by."_

_ "What makes you say that?" Tooru asked, grinning all the while._

_ Date remained silent for a moment, something that made Tooru slightly anxious. _

_ "It feels kinda like you don't really have a purpose here," he said, stunning the dark-skinned man before him. "Like you're just walking through it. Like it's not that big a deal to you."_

_ "Th-That's not true," Tooru said, holding his hands up in defense. "I came here because I wanted to.."_

_ "If you say so, Zero," Date said, patting Tooru on the shoulder as he walked past him. "Call me when you want to get the truth off your chest."_

_ Then he left, leaving Tooru alone in the hallway._

_ Then Tooru fell against the wall, drained at Date's observation. "He's good," he said. "A lot better than I thought he was."_

_ And this time...he didn't have a smile on his face._

_ That mask had fallen away, having been completely obliterated by Date's words._

* * *

Tooru sat down on his bed that night, his phone up against his ear. "Sorry for running out on all of you like that," he said. "I was starting to feel worse, so I decided to go home."

"Okay," Ran said on the other end. "I hope you're feeling better, Amuro-san."

Tooru chuckled. "Thank you, Ran-san," he said. "I should be fine tomorrow. Goodbye."

With that, he hung up and gently tossed his phone onto his desk. Then he looked down at the file in his hand.

A file he'd buried years ago.

**Rei Amuro. (Age 6.)**

** Parents: **

** Akatsuki Amuro. Father. Age 39**

** Chiaki Amuor Mother. Age 38**

** Place of Birth:**

** Beika Hospital **

** Cause of Death:**

** Asphyxiation due to house fire. DOA at the hospital.**

Tooru chuckled at the file and promptly threw it into his desk drawer. The Black Organization was always good at stuff like that; severing any connections that might put their members at risk.

To the world, Rei Amuro died in that house, alongside his parents. He never even made it out of the ambulance alive.

He was gone. And he was never coming back.

That's what Tooru Amuro had constantly told himself.

But he couldn't believe it.

It was as if the ghost of his former self was tugging on his shirt, forever reminding him of the past that he was forced to throw away.

* * *

**D.T.B: Soooo...you like? This has been beta-ed and edited. (Though I think my beta would still wish to edit beyond freaking out, since I really only listened to her advice concerning the flashbacks.) So let me know what you think. Reviews give me motivation. Motivation gives me inspiration. Inspiration gives me stories to write. So please, review. :) (But no flamers. Flamers are not welcome.)**


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